Good for Joel Zumaya, man. Believe it or not, there was a time when the Detroit Tigers mattered. From 2006 to 2014, they were actually competitive. They had good players, spent money and brought fans to the park. They didn’t win a World Series, and they should have, but it was still fun. And Joel Zumaya, a pitcher whose star died out much faster than it should have, mostly due to bizarre injuries, including one in which he hurt his wrist while playing “Guitar Hero.” , was at the forefront in 2006. And while I’m not someone who necessarily agrees that we need to “start weeding out some of these nerds who have no idea the good ol’ baseball game,” I’m glad former players are starting to share the same frustrations fans share.
It’s hard to say precisely how awful the Detroit Tigers are right now. The pitching was more than passable. Considering the injuries (four of the five starting pitchers on Opening Day are on injured reserve), this is still a team that ranks 11th in baseball in the ERA. This unit held up, which makes this season even more frustrating as a slightly below average offense would likely have this team around .500. It won’t because this team’s offense is an abomination to the sport.
Detroit’s offense right now may be one of the worst ever. This is not an exaggeration. Last night I was on Twitter spaces where my buddy told me that the 2010 Seattle Mariners, a baseball team Dave Schoenfield once called the worst offense ever, averaged 3.17 points per ridiculously low match. At the time of this blog, the Tigers offense is averaging 2.71 carries per game. This baseball team is currently on course to break the record for fewest runs scored in a 162-game season. The most consistent top hitter on their roster is Miguel Cabrera, who currently has 16 RBIs in 37 games played. By comparison, Trevor Story has the same number of RBIs in his last five games. I know batting average has been an outdated stat for a while. Yet today, the Tigers roster includes five players with batting averages below .200 and another player in Derek Hill, whose batting average sits at exactly .200. They hit twenty-two home runs ALL SEASON. It’s pain personified, and quite frankly, I’m angry with myself for thinking this offense could be acceptable. So yeah, good for Zumaya for tearing this team to shreds. Maybe one day the front office will start listening.